The Process: Classes

In the state that we live in, the Foster Care and Adoption services are privatized. There's no state organization helping these kids, it's all done through private services. The government gives grants to these organizations helping them run, but even that is minimal.

In order to become a Foster or Adoptive parent, you have to undergo a certification class - 9 weeks, one day evening a week for 3 hours each evening. Our class had two care workers running the class, and a mix of attendees in age, gender, socio-economic status and preference for foster or adoption (or both). Matt and I were the youngest couple of the group (though there was a young woman that came with her mother for the first few weeks -- both of whom dropped after the second or third week). We were also one of the only people in class considering fostering without necessarily adopting. Though we would like to work the Foster-to-Adoption process, it's not a necessity. We're in it to help kids that need help.

Class topics run the range for kids from infancy to teens and talk about the building block foundations of things kids need to have in their lives. Above all things, the class taught us two things (though maybe not purposefully): one - everyone whether they have kids, want kids, or not should have to take this class or a class like it and two - that learning about what kids need and want at different stages of life taught us more about our family and friends than we would've imagined.

Some nights, sitting in class was a chore. It felt like common sense, things everyone should know. But by the end of each session there was always something we took away from the class, even if that thing was that my husband and I needed to adjust what we think of as common sense or common knowledge. It became obvious that what we felt was common sense, wasn't to everyone, not even to people in our class who were embarking on the same or similar path we were.

Some nights, classes were extremely heart-wrenching. The workers that taught our class would tell us stories of kids and parents that they had worked with or were currently working with (all anonymously of course) that would just get everyone down. Or, part of the class work would be to read stories about kids coming into care and all the different reasons they might be there. Nights like that, while sad, reconfirmed to us that we were doing the right thing. It might be hard, but there were/are kids out there that we can help -- or at least try to.

During those 9 weeks, we met with one of the teachers twice as part of the beginning of the paperwork process. We had to be vetted just to be in the class. We had to fill out paperwork about ourselves, our histories, our families and then talk to the teacher about them. We had to collect a number of character references and turn them in. Those references got questionnaires that had to be filled out once we decided we'd be moving ahead with the process after classes were over.

Near the end of the 9 weeks we told our worker/teacher that we wanted to sign up with their agency, to start the process towards becoming Foster Parents. That meant a whole stack of paperwork, much of which was very similar to what we had already filled out.

And that's where we still are - in that paperwork process (more on that later).

When the last class night came, we got our certificates stating we'd completed the course. We said goodbye to the people we'd gotten to know over the last 9 weeks, and we all wished each other well in our individual processes and goals. We had bonded to one couple in particular and promised to keep in contact, much like you do with summer camp friends, but never did. I wish we had though, I wonder sometimes - now that we're a year into the process, how far other people have gotten. Do some of them have kids in their homes already? I hope so.